Cattle Shenanigans & Farm Follies!

I never thought cows would be so hilarious.  They just wander around pastures, eating and pooping, right?  Not hardly.  They are always up to something!  Cattle Daddy says their primary mission in life is to try to kill themselves.  I can’t disagree.  I’m like an overbearing cow mom half the time.

Today’s blog is a composition of our most entertaining moments with these guys and gals…never a dull moment on the farm!  Forgive the picture quality, these antics happen when you least expect it!  Photographic perfection is an elusive beast!

Professional Bull Riding Tryouts with Red

One of my earlier cow lessons had to do with cattle behavior.  I had not yet completed my copy of Storey’s Guide to Raising Beef Cattle (my cow bible) and had no concept of bovine behavior.  I was blissfully wandering around the pasture with my lovable grass puppies while Cattle Daddy brought in a round bale.  Everyone gets a little excited about round bales so it’s a great time to watch them.  My babies are all milling around, waiting for dinner and I notice that Ms. Red is slowly making her way toward me with her head bowed low.  Here is my pretty girl…

Red on the Hay! - Copy

Being a dog mom my whole life, I interpreted this as a “play bow” – I mean, what else could it be but a desire to play with me?!  I threw my arms up and welcomed her play bow and she promptly charged me, butt flying back and forth like she was trying out for the next PBR rodeo!  I promptly scrambled up the nearest fence like a bucked rider from a PBR rodeo!  She ran up to the fence and hopped around a bit, sniffed and threw snot in my direction.  I was insulted!  What in the world just happened.  I sat straddling the fence in hurt confusion.  Cattle Daddy cracks the door of the tractor and yells “You can’t let her get away with that!”  and shuts the door.

And what, pray tell, am I supposed to do?  Swat her nose with a newspaper??!!  Then I remember!  Storey’s Guide says when you need to move cattle, you put your arms out and look bigger and walk towards them.  Okay.  So, if I do that and yell, maybe she will think twice about killing me.  I hop off the fence and she looks toward me with curiosity.  I point at her and say, “No ma’am!” in my best angry mom tone.  She walks over to me, pretending to be my friend again, and down goes her head.  I throw my arms out and yell at her, and she keeps coming, so I walk toward her and poke her nose and jump away!  She freaked!  She jumped back, I jumped forward pretending I had a clue, and she backed up and I kept going forward, and then she sniffed angrily and walked away.  Victory!  I think.  What if she’s made at me?

I left her to sulk for the day and we were back to being friends the next day.  She still pushes me around with her head, and I still push at her nose, but it’s all friendly now.  Cattle Daddy said she’s going to hospitalize me someday, but that’s okay, she’s so pretty.

Here she is trying to head butt Barn Cat – pick on the smaller target I guess!

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Water Trough or Swimming Pool?

Another bright and sunny day on the farm, I head out to check the herd and give them some feed.  I mean, no matter how bad your day is going, there is nothing better to turn your mood around than grazing grass puppies.  So there I am, checking them out and everyone is walking around and mooing for me to hurry up with the feed (we can’t go near the barn without being moo’d to death) when I hear a crash and a splash!  I look over and Mouse is IN the water trough looking as confused and I am!  (I now keep my phone on me at all times to snap these gems!)

Mouse going for a swim!

Look at this face!  He is NOT a happy camper!!

Mouse in the trough!

After a bit more splashing and him just standing in the water, I realize that he may be stuck!  What the heck am I supposed to do now?!  As I’m deliberating my options, he starts panicking and then hops right out!  Okay then…cows can jump.  Problem solved.  I still have no idea what happened, but okay.  Next!

Holy Heifer! 

As previously stated, the herd tends to get a bit excited about their round bales.  They see the tractor coming and they run toward the gate to welcome the tractor, usually trying to eat the bale before it’s off the spikes! Nom nom!

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Now, as Cattle Daddy removes the old hay ring, there is a nice pile of the remaining bale left.  The herd seems to love this little pile almost as much as the new bale!  They like to play Queen of the Hay Pile and fight over who gets to stand in the middle.  Bessie and Nellie are the biggest gals, and sometimes Red gets in the fight too, running around and butting each other.

Excited about hay!

New hay!  New hay!  Running and jumping like maniacs!  I am REALLY surprised at how much cows run.  I’ve never seen such hilarity.  Who knew!?

Hay Mound - Copy

Well, Bessie seems to get the upper hand in the competition, and on one particular day, she aggressively takes the top of the hay pile, loses her balance and goes tumbling hooves over head off the pile and lands upside-down, wedged next to the hay ring!  She lays there for a moment, contemplating her predicament, then flips back over and rights herself!  I’d love to know what she was thinking in that moment she was wedged.  Most unfortunately, I did not get a photograph of this event, but I’m sure there are more to come!

King of the Hay Ring

The hay ring is obviously our herds’ favorite place to be since most of our follies involve this area.  Once we place the bale, they are on it all day until it’s gone!  I love watching them munching on the hay that we grew and baled for them.  Circle of life stuff!  Love it!  And I can see our grass puppies all day from our back windows and have a constant source of entertainment!  So, I’m passing by our windows one day, glance up and see that our bull calf, Frat Boy, is INSIDE the hay ring!!

Frat in the Hayring - Copy

What in the holy hellcats??  What if he can’t get out??  Again, as I’m standing there wondering what I could possibly do with this situation (and snapping pictures because Cattle Daddy will NEVER believe this) Frat turns around and climbs through a seemingly impossibly small opening in the hay ring.

Frat exiting hay ring - Copy

Well then.  This becomes his favorite place to be and others have started joining him!  What the heck!?  This is NOT how it works!!

And here is a pic of Dolly, because she’s so pretty!

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This concludes my farm follies for now…I’m sure they’re cooking up new things as we speak!  And if YOU have some great farm follies, please comment and share your laughs with us!  We’d love to hear that we aren’t the only ones with a herd of clowns!!

Thanks for stopping by!

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